I ran into the worst things that I have ever happened. I am very sad and uncomfortable. There are many bad things what I went through. Let me tell you.
One thing is that I broke up with my boyfriend recently but I don’t know the real reasons. I have thought why we could be since we broke up. I always ask him, do you love me anymore? But his answer always makes me disappointed. Finally, I gave up and I made a wish hope that I can be better than before. Another thing is that my little puppy caught a cold. I knew she was very pain because she couldn’t eat, bark and suffer from diarrhea. I took her to the animal hospital but she didn’t get well.
Her cold lasted for two weeks, I was very nervous and worry but she got well finally. Ha!
I had bad mood during that time, I really hope that I can feel better. So I make my mind to live better than before. And I make it now.
Hi 克洛依小姐
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you encountered so many terrible things lately. Is that why you skipped my class?
Anyway, here are some suggestions for your writing:
1. I ran into the worst things that I have ever happened.
第一、你的I have ever happened的主詞不可以是I喔
第二，這句話本身邏輯有問題，因為沒辦法說"我最近發生很多最糟糕的事情"，而且也跟下一句不搭，請改成: I ran into a lot of bad things lately.
基本上我知道你想寫你發生了很多事，可是這樣寫並不切題，因為題目是要寫"最糟的事情"，而不是最近很倒楣。
2. I am very sad and uncomfortable. There are many bad things what I went through.
這一句there are many...went through就可以不用了
3. One thing is that I broke up with my boyfriend recently but I don’t know the real reasons.
第一、如果你把焦點改成: The worst thing that has ever happened to me is that my boyfriend broke up with me. 那就切題，但是就要focus寫這一點
第二、不知道分手的原因的確很OOXX
4.I have thought why we could be since we broke up.
改I have thought about why we broke up since then.
5. I always ask him, do you love me anymore? But his answer always makes me disappointed.
第一、這整句的時態要注意
第二、anymore用於否定句/否定問句，所以要用 do you still love me?
6. Finally, I gave up and I made a wish hope that I can be better than before.
第一、把hope拿掉
第二、and用but
第三、加油
7. Another thing is that my little puppy caught a cold. I knew she was very pain because she couldn’t eat, bark and suffer from diarrhea. I took her to the animal hospital but she didn’t get well.
Her cold lasted for two weeks, I was very nervous and worry but she got well finally. Ha!
把worry改成worried